MY STYLE PEEVES

Peevus, I have a few. I've been saving them up so I could produce this post, the greatest rant of all time. I guess I'm quite easily irritated which is a trait I don't emplore, yet I can't deny it's there. I try to see the best in all people, but sometimes seeing the best is just so hard when all you can smell is a guy's aftershave (see peeve no.1) or all you can see is a girl's bum cheeks (see peeve no.2). I'm hoping that writing this will allow me to let go of some of these peeves, a kind of therapy in writing if you will.

www.feelunique.com  Jean paul Gaultier, Le Male

Peeve 1) Too Much Aftershave

There's probably a fine line between wearing enough and too much scent. I don't have this problem as I find two light sprays of perfume does the job without knocking people out, but maybe some men think more is more. When you're on the tube, or walking down the street you may pass a man - and if  you can absolutely smell his aftershave for a minute or two before and after he's passed you, that's what I'm refering to. It's that heady alcohol smell that gets right up your nose and makes you want to spew in the guys mouth as an ode to how groase he is for doing this. I think these guys must believe some of the hilarious advertisements for the aftershaves, a promise that women will be jumping them in the street if they spray themselves with this expensive 'love juice'. It has the opposite effect, men, and it's never a nice scent either (though nice scents are frankly few and far between with men's fragrance).

www.mirror.co.uk

Peeve 2) Bum Shorts

Hey grrls, I can see your whole ass. Bum shorts, if you don't know, are shorts that are so tiny, they aren't shorts at all, they're more like a little denim knicker. Some of the girls that wear these are kids, and they really shouldn't be wearing these for all kinds of reasons, but I get they think it's a rad fashion thing. A message to you kids: please don't wear them again and when you look back at yourself growing up, have a big old laugh at this particular phase. For older girls aka teenagers and WOMEN who sport them...you should know better! I've never seen a girl wearing these who doesn't look self concious. It's actually pretty sad. And such a bad idea to reveal your ass flaps to anyone with eye holes. What happened to being sexy and mysterious? Also, what happened to comfort is king? These guys must feel like a permanent front and back wedgie with the added misery of denim.

lv31.wordpress.com

Peeve 3) Leggings as Trousers

On the subject of bootys...leggings are like tights without foot pockets. Maybe if you're extremely cool and hot like Edie Sedgewick, you could wear some tights on their own as a fashion statement and totally own that look. But I doubt the average gal is going for this rather specific, niche idea when dressing in leggings and then just throwing a shirt on. You know, you're basically naked as I can see your bum and your tiny pants. It's all there to see, plain as daylight, with only a very thin and feeble stretch of lycra/nylon covering it. This is a heavily discussed fashion faux pas, but I think it deserves a mention nevertheless.

www.everydayminimalist.com

Peeve 4) Skiing Sunglasses

There are so many cool sunglasses out there...round ones, tinted ones, heart shaped ones, there's really no excuse to be wearing sports 'ski' style glasses especially when you're no where near any kind of recreational ground and no where near snow. They. Look. Weird. So this is a personal taste thing, but come on guys, get with the progamme. No one looks good in these disgusting pseudo masculine glasses and I get the impression that guys wear them just because they don't know what other options they have, and they're scared of going for anything that looks too feminine. There friends will laugh at them. So they go for these. Because they look like they're about to do sports with them. And men like sports.

blog.bratz.com

Peeve 5) Ballet Pumps

This was a trend that resurfaced in a big way in the early 2000's. That was ok for a bit, then Winehouse championed a certain beige pair that were basically so lived in they looked like a second skin, that was fine because she was a hot mess and she didn't give a hoot what shoes she was wearing. However, I take issue with the fact the sorry trend still continues to thrive to this day in 'New Looks' and other highstreet giants everywhere. These are grown women wearing what is essentialy a babies' shoe. They may be your go-to because they're comfy and they remind you of being a kid/ballet dancer, or maybe they're so plain and inoffensive, giving off no real statement, that they're your favourite. But they do make a statement, which is ''I need to find a new shoe style to live in''. A Dr Marten's Mary Jane perhaps? Or a chunky brogue? An ankle boot? Anything else but a feeble and long overdue to be binned ballet pump.

Dork DISASTER Clothes and Shoes!

Some clothes look bad on some people, don't they. That's why fashion (or rather, the generally more small minded category of women's lifestyle magazines) has developed a list of rules which you may feel inclined to follow. The whole thing about curvy girls needing to avoid horizontal stripes is one example of a rule turned holy grail which isn't really true, but many people follow religiously. Another old chestnut is 'never wear brown and black together', oh how deadfully passe! In Februray 2014 Michael Kors dressed his models in brown, black, and grey. No one died, no realities collapsed. So hey ho, rules are there to be broken right?

Michael Kors, NYC Fashion Week 2014 www.irelandseyeonline.com

But whilst I'm a firm believer that anyone should be able to wear anything they want to, I do think knowing what suits you is a powerful skill to posses. I've been dressing myself for about 16 years now (if 5 yrs old is when you start putting your own clothes on?), and so I've had plenty of time to perfect my wardrobe. During those 16 years I've journeyed through many sartorial phases, ofcourse not all great, noteably the Courtney Love phase and the nu-rave phase. The nu-punk-rocker phase had to be the worst of the bunch, but that happened when I was only 13, so ok. As I always say, experimentation is king - it allows you to establish what you like and don't like.

Here's some stuff I now KNOW doesn't suit me, and I must be reminded of this frequently as I sometimes forget and try to buy some of the below items because I think they're cool. They always look shit on me because I always feel like a dork in them, so I should never buy them. Let's begin.

1) Flatforms

 

Asos Hangtime Flatform Sandals, www.asos.com

Because of my abnormally knobbly knees and general kid's physique, these guys make me look so ridiculous. They elongate my feet, emphasising the funny knees. They shorten my legs and make me walk like a fool. I've tripped up in these loads too, from the front - so imagine scuffing the fronts of the shoes on the pavement and then doing a sort of forward trip.

2) Skater Dresses
 

Topshop Textured Box Pleat Dress, www.topshop.com

A cinched in high waist, great - I love a high waist. The problem with this shape on my kid like body lies in the puffed out skirt, the length of the skirt, the whole upper, the fact that it looks like a kid's dress. It's just really bad on me. I've owned a few of these in the past, beautiful crushed velvet, ladylike grey, casual cotton, all were wrong. You have to feel nice in the clothes you wear, they are transformative. Skater dresses make me feel like an awkward teen.

3) Midi Skirts with Long Boots

www.thisnext.com

This can probably look great on some people. But I tried the combo of a midi skirt i.e. falling below the knee, with a knee high boot once, and boy did I feel like a middle aged mum. 


4) Skull/Beanie Hats

www.glamcheck.com

The super tight kind that outlines the shape of your skull. Yep, those. I'm weird about the shape of my skull in that I think I have quite a flat head from the side (!), so as far as I'm concerned these just accentuate that. They also look like an idiot condom and make my forehead itch. I go for a nice slouchy hat knitted by a gran, a polite beret or a hood instead.

 5) Brogues

Clarkes Hamble Oak Brogue, www.clarkes.co.uk

I hate the word 'brogue' for starters. 

I bought some black patent brogues from Topshop a month ago. I've now sold them on Ebay - an example of me forgetting something looks dorkey on me and only remembering after it's too late. What's my problem with this 'classic' shoe? Well, I feel overdressed in them, I don't feel cool in them, I don't feel laid back in them, I feel like a pristine loser going on a countryside walk, in a city, and also like a twee Cath Kidston man boy. These are things I don't want to feel like. I love feeling like a boy. I have a pair of vans that I live in, and when I wear them I sure don't feel like a girly girl, it's just that the brogue, also being a manly shoe, suggests another world entirely, and it's a world I don't like.

Some other sartorial stuff that gives me the creeps, to be expanded on in the near future:

-When shoes I'm wearing click on the floor

-Waterfall skirts

-New Converse

-Bowler hats

Below please tell me two things you think look dorkey on you, and why, so I can see if I can also add them to my list

x

Something NEW

I like making lists and filing things away. It's really sad but it's just the way it is. Therefore, imagine my delight when one morning a couple of weeks ago I conceived the idea of starting a new blog, seperate to Idea, You Gave Me A Fright Dear, with an aim to record what outfit I wear every single day, for a year. 

Why a year you ask? Because it's hard. I've started jogging and going to yoga classes recently, the jogging partly inspired by an article I read in a magazine about a woman who ran a mile everyday for a year. This goal of doing something everyday for a set amount of time appeals to my somewhat obsessive nature. But I can't commit to running everyday. Mayyybe every other day. It's JUST. TOO. SPORTY and EFFICIENT.

What I do do every day is get dressed. And what I do love is the art of constructing outfits. The shapes, colours, patterns of an outfit and how this balances the look out, how it makes you feel, how it makes you act. How your outfit is read by society, how it fits in with current trends, or doesn't. I find it all fascinating. 

This paired with a desire to 'dress up' more (as Vivienne Westwood said ''when in doubt, overdress'') lead me to start 'On Getting Dressed'. My brand new blog detailing every outfit I wear, everyday. And you now know how I like to file stuff? Well that's not limited to physical paper files. No. 

I will continue to write in this blog, when I feel like it. It will be like my bit on the side. My yucky secret casual blog where I write about dumb stuff like the top five men I fancy who are aged over 60... (Robert Redford etc). And the posts won't come thick and fast. They will continue to saunter in as and when they feel like it. 

In this way I've got a blog for fashion/my career and a hobby blog; which feels a lot like filing, and suits me well.

To finish, I'd like to breifly explain why I called this blog 'Idea, You Gave Me A Fright Dear'. I started it whilst I was at university studying fine art. Me and my friends were, let's be honest, not the most prolific bunch. It was more common to spot us in the pub then in any kind of environment that would be deemed useful (gallery, studio, exhibition). We could have tried harder, but we were too busy having fun. Therefore, when I did get down to some work and managed to sprout an idea about some performance art piece, it was frankly a shock. A surprise you could say. Therefore this name was born, fitting for a blog which ambles along doing what it wants, when it wants. 

If you'd like to see me try harder, check out On Getting Dressed HERE

Subscribe, follow, comment, see what you think. Expect fashion faux pas all over your screen.

THE HIGH STREET FASHION TRAP

Today in H&M, wedged amongst the many, many rails of sale clothes, I got to thinking about throw-away high street fashion.

It's no secret that clothes purchased on the high street lose the majority of their value as soon as they're bought by the customer. It seems like a good idea at the time, in the seductive atmosphere of the shop, because you feel like you really want a peplum top or some harem pants. But a few weeks down the line when everyone hates peplums and harems, you're just left with some over priced garments that are now worth nothing and you won't wear again, ever. The bottom line is...we are obsessed with high street trends that change from month to month, rendering the purchases of months past as worthless.

This is bad for several reasons. Firstly, it's just pure wasteful. Secondly, our drive to have the latest 'on trend' item is turning us in to slaves, literally consuming whatever fad is thrown at us. Thirdly, as well as making us slaves, it's transforming us in to the spitting image of each other, which is dull, to say the least. Finally, it's fuelling cheap foreign labour and has already completely obliterated the British sewing/textile trades.

So to save you from having to fall in to this horrible high street fashion trap, I have concocted some tips, so you won't have to be a slave to the shopping centre ever again (p.s. peplum tops aren't a good idea, even if everyone says they are).

1) DON'T GET SEDUCED

Avoid items that you're unsure about, but you talk yourself in to buying because they're of the moment. 

2) DEVELOP YOUR OWN STYLE

Get to know your own style and tastes. Understand what suits you, and develop it. It may involve making some crappy fashion faux pas, (which may well end up being amazing) but that's part of it. This way you'll know which trends to pursue and which to ignore. 

3) INVEST, DON'T JUST BUY

If you're in to fashion, it's fun to observe what designers are doing and watch how trends develop across the seasons, but the high streets take on these changes is fickle and cheap, so if you really like a trend, invest in an item that will stand the test of time, not necessarily an expensive item, but one that could be interpreted in different ways. To elaborate, take the trend of Navajo (which seems to be going on forever?!) as example. Instead of buying an all over Navajo print dress which is pretty great now, but won't be in a year or two, buy a vest, shorts or accessory featuring Navajo embellishments that will be transformed in to a brand new look when this stubborn trend is finally put to bed.

4) CONSIDER WHICH BRANDS YOU BUY FROM

As an avid Ebayer (both seller and buyer) I have noticed certain brands always do well on Ebay. Two that instantly come to mind are Topshop and Urban Outfitters. In my experience, you can often make a profit on items from these brands if you sell them even second hand on Ebay. So, if you're in to Ebay, it would make sense to consider how sell-able an item will be when you buy it.

5) SIT BACK AND WAIT IT OUT

To be honest, most of these trends come and go so quickly that just turning a blind eye for a bit, when you're really broke, or can't be bothered with all the fussing, could be the solution. Another trend that you'll want to buy in to will be just around the corner anyway.

6) SWEET CHARITY

Charity shops are literally one of the best ideas ever, I think. They provide a place to unload your old high street mistakes and they supply people like me with a weird and wonderful selection of oddities and stuff. If in doubt, just visit a charity shop and find a few cheapo bits to refresh the items you already have. Thus giving money to charity, not fuelling this crazed high street consumer mess, and not spending as much cash.

7) BUY VINTAGE

Generally, clothes from 20 plus years ago are much better made and have stood the test of time. They are also extremely coveted by many. Therefore buying vintage can be seen as an investment. It's like that thing they say about cars and houses. Buying a car sucks your money, because it costs to keep it and it loses money with age. Buying a house is a financial asset, and it maintains/increases it's value over time.

Keep your vintage well, and you could end up making a profit from it when it's day with you is done.

Lastly, and to emphasise the importance of having your own sense of style...

Being inspired and influenced by high street/catwalk/street trends is good, but don't be a fashion puppet. I think it's important to develop your tastes and follow your instincts, without taking it all too seriously. Fashion is, after all, temporary. The beauty of it is it's ever evolving and shifting nature. So be an observer, not a slave. Having a strong sense of personal style is the key.

The End

FIND ME IN A BITCH MOOD

Here is a brief and ever expanding list of my PET HATES in regards to certain modern 'trends'. Feel free to add your own.

-UGG BOOTS (put them away already girls, the world has seen enough of your slippers)

-BOYS WHO WEAR BOATERS WITH NO SOCKS (Do you think you look 'avante garde', 'indie', do you? Well, you don't, your feet just stink) 

-BOYS/GIRLS WHO WEAR T-SHIRTS OF BANDS THEY DONT KNOW (Get a grip...If you're going to advertise/champion a band or a thing, at least know what it is!?)

-FASCINATORS (They look like tiny hats designed for cats that you've decided to clip on to your own head)

                                                                   THE END (for now)